L.O.V.E

jie jie, something you will feel familiar when you see this,

原来爱情是这么伤的，你只有在真正体验过后，才会了解和看开~

开始时总是轰轰列列，什么山盟海誓都搬出来，可是到了最后，他会让你明白这全都是一堆废话~

终始他曾经真的很爱你，但爱情游戏玩到最后，没有真正的胜利者，因为我们两个都是输家~

放弃爱你的人并不难，但真的伤是放弃你爱的人~

你曾经以为不能放弃和失去的人，其实也并非在你生命中有那么重要~

爱情只是一个把两个人从陌生变熟悉，然后从熟悉变陌生的无聊游戏，曾经两人熟悉到天天联在一起，但分手后却是最熟悉的陌生人~

其实并非做不了朋友，只是需要时间，需要时间去忘记一些不该记住的东西，不然当你看到他，其实是很伤心，却要装出一副自己很开心的样子是很难受的~

时间能证明爱情，也能推翻爱情~

分手后，还是可以天天看到对方，其实你心里真的很难受，但没人懂，人就是这样犯贱，明知道有些东西你看了会很伤心，但你就偏偏要去看~

我真的没有那个天份，包容你也接受她，你己经远远离开，我也会慢慢走开，希望她时真的比我还要爱你~

上天是公平的，它让你失去一样东西，也会给你一些东西，我得到的东西其实很多。。朋友，家人，自由~~~~

真的很谢谢你们，在我最低潮，最失落的时候给我支持~~谢谢你们~

这或许是我一生中不能忘记的痛，但我也重中学到了很多很多，想想以前的去我，还真的很好笑~

我们曾经也有给彼此快乐过，我不恨，我只记住你曾经对过我的好~谢谢你


I really agree and feel the same as wut u feel earlier than me ^^
I am the one should really thanks u so much...
I shall neva forget the days you accompany went to through....
I LOVE you, serene teo..

Raya Holidays

I am back at home..i took the 6.30pm YOYO bus from back to ipoh....it was so tiring... 5pm i have to take bus from inti to klia...than from klia to sit yoyo back to ipoh..wat a tiring and boring journey..so scare of traveling by bus....aikkss..

Anyway,I'm finish with the struggling of the journey back home and i'm having fun at home... always sitting right in front of my laptop again... i supposed need to do my assignment but i seems so free chatting everyday...haiz....
studies sucks...assignments and exams....i still have 2 more sems to go....and i am planning to study masters...zzzz.. any difference??i still need to struggle with studies life.... =(
hope i can get a job in singapore...LOL...

I jus wanna leave here to sumwhere further, to have a different life and doing something to occupy my brain if not i will be like now, keep thinking others and keep thinking back and thinking nonsense...i can't move on if i continue to be like this...
I am still thinking of my RM 60 long black pants..should i or shouldn't i???but i can't get else where...aiks...so, going back to instyle tomorrow probably... hehe..

David cook, always be my baby will be my favourite song now...haha....i myself thinks that david cook's sound is better than mariah carey cause at least it doesn't sounds so dull..but anyway i haven listen to mariah carey's one..let me get it first...

I'm going to the bank today... i wanna a debit card..hoho... let's see later....LOL..
no plan for the raya holidays. so, i gotta stay at home the whole week...
i am off to get ready....

23rd of Sept....

It is almost 2 months we din even say hi, call or even talk nicely to each other… is this really the end of 2 of us?? I know many many things bout you and her…but wat can I do?? Jus listen and forget about it that is wat I am doing…. Memories keep flashes in my mind no matter where am i…I hope we’re not like this one day later…. God bless u… this girl, ridiculous.. first time coming across girl like her… long long story to write so I decided not to write…in case people commenting and talking bad bout me saying I am back stepping her here… wat for??? I don’t hate her anymore. Maybe she is the one who wake me up… from everything that what I had did… I’ve open up my mind…see things and feel the feelings that not everyone feels… I know how suffer is it. I know how hard it is….. jus to be tough and give yourself time… time really proved everything…believe me… everything is past so let it past.. no point looking back, try to move further… bright future is in front.. Feeling can’t be forced also. No point forcing someone that really doesn’t have any feeling on you anymore. Just try to be someone u really want to be..

I and you are big enough to tell yourself what you really wants… I wish to sms you just to say a hi and how are you to you but I know I’m nothing to you anymore, maybe only your ex, your past.. I still wish and I still look forward for your 1 sms… maybe it is still isn’t the time yet.. being single is quite fun too…. For so many years I neva been single..lol.. this is the time for me to enjoy my life to the fullest… hehe…
Duno y nowadays my appetite came back..i ate damn a lot… I am growing fatter and fatter =) next week going back to learn YOGA than come back to school to continue… I doesn’t wanna learn in school first cause everyone there will be so expert.. and I look like a noob duno everything there…haha.. try it out in ipoh where no one who am I first…. LOL

Y am I keep asking myself to forget??? But then I seems not doing it quite well..lol… give me some time to learn…I know I can do it…. No worries…
The piercing of my nose.. it’s pain actually but not when u pierce it, it’s after the piercing….

Tattoo… I want a tattoo.. no butterflies,k? give me some ideas wat to tattoo… =)

school starts and my new life goes on ^^

It’s been quite some time I did not update something here…. I still cant get the internet connection yet…and I am kinda lazy… jus to write something about my days after school reopens, I was kinda bored n free… assignments are distributed and it’s time for me to start working it out but I still doesn’t have the mood to do it… everyday busy watching dramas….i became so addicted to dramas that I last time hate to do..wasting my time watching dramas…but It accompanied me these few weeks…my days are going on and on…. Went to midvalley for 2 times in 1 week..my 2^nd house as I can said…

20^th of sept, the day I took out my courage and fullfilled myself, I went for my nose piercing… I was looking in front of the mirror for manys days and months to see whether am I suitable for nose piercing as it was wat I always wanna have it since I was in form 3..One of my cousin sis, the pretties among my relatiives.she went and pierce 1..that makes her looks so pretty and I can say wild…she is so so gentle and polite,but she likes to scream when she’s in a bad mood..at that time, I was still young, I jus can envy but I can’t have it.. I am 20 yrs old now, I think I should have my own choice and make my own decision. Secretly, without my parents noticed, I decided to pierce it….everyone was telling me it would be quite pain…

Haha…pain??? How pain is it???heart broken those kind of pain??have u ever go through?not everyone does..but I do…no worries =) tattoo will be my next target..i hope my parents allow me…next, everyone is leaving malaysia..and when can I supposed to leave?? I wanted to leave here duno since when.. I am eager and I hope to leave here!! I wanted to have a new environment for myself…but too bad…. Maybe next year.after my degree…hope so…friends in UK, wait for me!!

I am kinda satisfied with the thing I have now..But just a bit hoping for better soon…nowadays, I am getting weaker and weaker after the sick…I am not fully recovered…but duno why headache is my common sick now…the weather in Malaysia, sucks…I duno how long can I stand…wat my body really wants??i am going to bed every nite at 12..i wanna have a healthy life.. I need to take g

ood care of myself…my eye sight and my immune system..getting worse and worse…

Days are moving and moving…this weekend will be my cousin brother’s wedding… both of them,his elder brother and him are the twins among of our family… they look the same…so alike until my other relatives can’t recognize who is the elder and who is the younger one until one of them grew fatter and darker…since that, the difference came out. If I’m not mistaken, his brother jus got married last year. They had a great and big marriage. I start to dream again, when can I get married to the one I really love and the one I really want…I am still young to think about these but staying alone in the room will make me think nonsense things….aiksss

some photos when we're in our journey to midvalley ^^

it's 9.30pm

It's time for me to blog and talk nonsense again,..maybe i'm kinda bored..i faced the computer the whole day..since i wake up till now...my eyes are blur..bt i can't find other things to do other than watching drama...there are people keep calling me out for lunch,dinner, drink...i am sorry..i jus don't feel like going out
i duno why....i am worried about my studies....i am afraid can i cope everything... hope i really can...and i feel i am so stupid..why i can't pass tat law...zzz
anyway, i cooked maggie for my dinner...it was been so long i din cook maggie as i always did it for him last time.. when we're in some economical proble, we will have maggie or bread with chocolate... haha.. but it's kinda end..FORGET ABOUT IT THAN..
and the internet...WTH maxis broadband...dun ever believe maxis..zzzz.....
the internet line sucks!! but i got nothing else to do already.. one word, BORED!!
tomorrow is the day i have to start to fight..study hard and sleep early =)
i know i can do it!!!
- good night everyone -

saturday 05.09.2008

hmmm.... jus back from the rehearsal in sunway...
so the tired... everyday raining nowadays... since this morning, rain non stop.... so troublesome even to go n get a cab...
anyway,the house is really giving me lots of problem since this monday... first of all, the whole house was so dirty and messy...we came back to clean and threw everything what we don't wan... too bad i din take a photo of it.. i n my housemate used 2 to 3 days to clear and clean everything.. was so so busy...than when i came back to the house only i knew the people stayed before before us took off the modem and router..NO INTERNET!!
wat the hell..no internet wat can i do??!!! haizz.... sad... than my stupid law... law law law....
4 subjects for this semester is it a bit too pressure for me??i tell myself to study hard..no more entertainment for me...okie??!LQQ, study hard!! study.. i am already a failure in something and i don't wanna be another failure in my studies!!
I still can't let go the thing i met this year...why is it so hard to forget it??
i can't look back to my past and try to go back thr..there isn't anyway for me to do that!!
but then i am stucked here..y?? i can't move forward... maybe i still need time.. i am still single.. now only i know the taste of being single... although sometimes it's fun being single..but than i really miss the time..if i'm not doing that, if i have the thinking like now i wouldn't have this feeling.. i will be very happy and sweet going anywhere with my boyfriend..having support from my boyfriend..having an accompany with me wherever i go... i really miss it...i have to accept the fact now cause it's what god treating me.. i know i will meet one soon or maybe later...being together actually full of lies behind.. this is wat someone told me.. actuallly it's true... i can see it bear with my eyes..not going to mention who and i really believe it...
think more postively...boys can have with another one outside but at least they are still sticking with you..they still spend time with you than try to accept it...girls, don't think so much... if their really yours there are still chance to be together..bt if isn't yours..too bad...jus to accept the fact!!
it's really hard to have a 100% love in this world... although i get a 80% but i din really appreciate it.. i know he din lie to me much but sometimes yes..but at that time, i wasn't satisfy with it... but for me now, i am very happy with it...
I was so bitchy last time.. i jealous so much...everything i wouldn't be satisfy... i need more,i aim higher...but than it's a bit difficult...same as wat i get after that, the one choosing is not me but him, so i have to be tough and accept it..i like to quarrel, a bit a bit i will become angry at first,but after tat i did change,although sometimes it's hard for me to stop being angry,but i really can't stop...so sorry to all of my ex boyfriends..i am really sorry...
i felt a bit wasted but it's a bit too late i know...so,i am learning very hard to change it..k?
the one the most you loved won't be always beside them... i wish u all that u can get someone better than me and those who really suits u... i know u all did your best when with me.. i did appreciate it... till now, i didn't even forget anything of you all..i still remember the time with you all...
I LOVE YOU to both of you!! truly from my heart..