22nd August 2007
Today was Wednesday n it was someone told me that he is coming to Ipoh to find me... but nothing went successfully..one day after one day..
I woke up at 12 something..My stomach was not well...pain...it was so pain..I am suffering...My caring n joyful "kakak" came n ask me wat do i want to eat for my lunch,she prepared me a bowl of maggie in curry flavour..hoho...Once the maggie is ready,my dad came back...too sorry dad,u have to eat alone today^^
I doesn't have the appetite to eat so much today..duno y..stomach doesn't feel well le i think....At first,everything was planned well...my cousin sis working in kl purposely took leave on fri n sat..it's because we planned nicely that they all will be coming to ipoh on thurs n we're going up to Penang on fri..that's y my cousin sis wanted to follow us up oso.she was so hesitated..she went and get her leave the nxt morning n called me to tell me....i was so happy that she was so excited n hesitated..i can't wait for that day..i am really waiting....i miss him..i feel like wan to see him n enjoy going out with him....until....
I called him this afternoon....Suddenly he told me his frien is not going to acc him to Ipoh...My mood was 100 drop till 20....i suddenly become so mang zang...i jus wan to do others to stop myself getting like that..i wanted to cool down...i msg apple...i asked her something silly n funny...i knew the answer yet i still wan to ask her...She agreed my ques..lol..i told her the whole incident...she ask me to cool down n try to solve the prob..after a few sms, i think i've cool down myself...i jus dun feel like seeing u at the moment..i hate u!! once n once making me disappointed...fine!!wateva..ur parents not allow or anything..jus dun nid to come!!I feel so sad....i say this from my mouth..bt i noe wat my heart is thinking....wateva...i dun feel like caring it anymore...better dun nid to waste ur precious time n strength purposely from Johor to Ipoh....thanks for making me so happy n excited at first...i really thanks u....i dun wan to have nxt time pls....not going to!!!! dun think of the long semester break this year end!! I am going out...sometimes i feel like ending this....i don't wan to let myself to suffer so much...the happiness jus for a few minutes...n the sorrows came for so long....bt i dun feel like letting it go as i noe we love each other....
For sure u will be saying that i am the one who taking these problems to make myself suffer...I am not making it by myself..i duno y i become so bad temper when i comes to u...i duno is this the right thing to love a person??maybe it's nt...bt i really pulled myself up n think...i am a girl that is easily being hurt..i admit...i hope the guy i meet now can take care of me..protect me everytime....be at the side of me supporting n taking care of me...i know my temper is terrible..i promise myself i will change...i will correct...bt please give me some time...i nid time to wake myself up when i comes to love....okie?? pls bear with me now...I jus feel like expressing myself here...I mus be tough!!I am a big girl.. I can't jus let my tears drop that easy..I mus control!!!My tears are falling,bt no one will know....no one will know...i can't tell.......I am unhappy...I am sad...
N the most important thing is bout my parents..I duno when can they really accept??after i finish my degree???3 more years?I know u all worried me....i know...i have to go by one day...I hope u all can understand wat i wan....i don't ask for much..bt jus a bit...okie??i am sorry.bt i think i am grown...I jus nid some freedom...need some space....not to say u all din give me any freedom..dun worry!!u treated me so good!!I am protected by u all..i am happy...
I am putting myself down...i nid to go out to have some fun..i jus can't sit here n keep thinking....I went shopping with my mum...she got a RM20 voucher...it will be going to expired by sept,so we have to use it up before sept..I went n bought some ladies stuff....a few thing costs me RM110,after the RM20 of discount will be RM90....Ladies stuff really costs huh?HAIZ..... I dun have the appetite to eat...i dun have the mood to talk....I jus can quarrel with anyone easily....Y am i like that??Y?Y??because of the stupid thing....I duno wat the hell i wan!!wat i wan??i am really so confused,pissed!~ I am a complicated girl with complicated thinkings.... I could jus wish i am stupid..I won't think so much n made so many problems for myself....I am not a good girl oso..I am nt!!Dun choose me....everyone,listen!!Eric n apple will be always beside me...I hope they will stay with me longer...jus dun feel like losing them.....I love u guys^^
He called me after fetching his sis and everything..I was no feeling want to talk to him..but i am not that kind of girl...can act that i am so cool....i kept quiet n listen to him...till one moment i really cannot stand..we both raised our voice..he wanted to end the phone...i was so so angry..i don't want to end..but unfortunately my mum opened my door..he straight away ended the phone...i called back so so many times but he didn't answer.....At that moment,I hate him so much..but i wan to say sorry to him...I won't do that again...But he doesn't want to answer my phone..I cried...i screamed...I looked like a retard...I looked like someone from the psycho hospital..I feel so upset...I really wanted wan to apologize....I am SORRY..SORRY...Please forgive me^^
Today was Wednesday n it was someone told me that he is coming to Ipoh to find me... but nothing went successfully..one day after one day..
I woke up at 12 something..My stomach was not well...pain...it was so pain..I am suffering...My caring n joyful "kakak" came n ask me wat do i want to eat for my lunch,she prepared me a bowl of maggie in curry flavour..hoho...Once the maggie is ready,my dad came back...too sorry dad,u have to eat alone today^^
I doesn't have the appetite to eat so much today..duno y..stomach doesn't feel well le i think....At first,everything was planned well...my cousin sis working in kl purposely took leave on fri n sat..it's because we planned nicely that they all will be coming to ipoh on thurs n we're going up to Penang on fri..that's y my cousin sis wanted to follow us up oso.she was so hesitated..she went and get her leave the nxt morning n called me to tell me....i was so happy that she was so excited n hesitated..i can't wait for that day..i am really waiting....i miss him..i feel like wan to see him n enjoy going out with him....until....
I called him this afternoon....Suddenly he told me his frien is not going to acc him to Ipoh...My mood was 100 drop till 20....i suddenly become so mang zang...i jus wan to do others to stop myself getting like that..i wanted to cool down...i msg apple...i asked her something silly n funny...i knew the answer yet i still wan to ask her...She agreed my ques..lol..i told her the whole incident...she ask me to cool down n try to solve the prob..after a few sms, i think i've cool down myself...i jus dun feel like seeing u at the moment..i hate u!! once n once making me disappointed...fine!!wateva..ur parents not allow or anything..jus dun nid to come!!I feel so sad....i say this from my mouth..bt i noe wat my heart is thinking....wateva...i dun feel like caring it anymore...better dun nid to waste ur precious time n strength purposely from Johor to Ipoh....thanks for making me so happy n excited at first...i really thanks u....i dun wan to have nxt time pls....not going to!!!! dun think of the long semester break this year end!! I am going out...sometimes i feel like ending this....i don't wan to let myself to suffer so much...the happiness jus for a few minutes...n the sorrows came for so long....bt i dun feel like letting it go as i noe we love each other....
For sure u will be saying that i am the one who taking these problems to make myself suffer...I am not making it by myself..i duno y i become so bad temper when i comes to u...i duno is this the right thing to love a person??maybe it's nt...bt i really pulled myself up n think...i am a girl that is easily being hurt..i admit...i hope the guy i meet now can take care of me..protect me everytime....be at the side of me supporting n taking care of me...i know my temper is terrible..i promise myself i will change...i will correct...bt please give me some time...i nid time to wake myself up when i comes to love....okie?? pls bear with me now...I jus feel like expressing myself here...I mus be tough!!I am a big girl.. I can't jus let my tears drop that easy..I mus control!!!My tears are falling,bt no one will know....no one will know...i can't tell.......I am unhappy...I am sad...
N the most important thing is bout my parents..I duno when can they really accept??after i finish my degree???3 more years?I know u all worried me....i know...i have to go by one day...I hope u all can understand wat i wan....i don't ask for much..bt jus a bit...okie??i am sorry.bt i think i am grown...I jus nid some freedom...need some space....not to say u all din give me any freedom..dun worry!!u treated me so good!!I am protected by u all..i am happy...
I am putting myself down...i nid to go out to have some fun..i jus can't sit here n keep thinking....I went shopping with my mum...she got a RM20 voucher...it will be going to expired by sept,so we have to use it up before sept..I went n bought some ladies stuff....a few thing costs me RM110,after the RM20 of discount will be RM90....Ladies stuff really costs huh?HAIZ..... I dun have the appetite to eat...i dun have the mood to talk....I jus can quarrel with anyone easily....Y am i like that??Y?Y??because of the stupid thing....I duno wat the hell i wan!!wat i wan??i am really so confused,pissed!~ I am a complicated girl with complicated thinkings.... I could jus wish i am stupid..I won't think so much n made so many problems for myself....I am not a good girl oso..I am nt!!Dun choose me....everyone,listen!!Eric n apple will be always beside me...I hope they will stay with me longer...jus dun feel like losing them.....I love u guys^^
He called me after fetching his sis and everything..I was no feeling want to talk to him..but i am not that kind of girl...can act that i am so cool....i kept quiet n listen to him...till one moment i really cannot stand..we both raised our voice..he wanted to end the phone...i was so so angry..i don't want to end..but unfortunately my mum opened my door..he straight away ended the phone...i called back so so many times but he didn't answer.....At that moment,I hate him so much..but i wan to say sorry to him...I won't do that again...But he doesn't want to answer my phone..I cried...i screamed...I looked like a retard...I looked like someone from the psycho hospital..I feel so upset...I really wanted wan to apologize....I am SORRY..SORRY...Please forgive me^^
No comments:
Post a Comment