11th of august

countdown-ing..
1 more day to finalss...
study study study...please =)
i am in love with 1 indonesian song, it's name is "aku bukan untukmu" by Rossa..
I would like to dedicate this song to him.. especially for him....
i will send him the link 1 day... i am waiting for the day...hope i always remain inside in his mind....
stay happy n hav a happy life soon.... take care n all da best.... muacks.... will lov u n miss u always...
The youtube link of this song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMBNPj-4fgw....

08.08.08

this is a nice n special day as the date show us the 8th day of the month of august in yr 08...
olympic games is having a opening ceremony on this special day... so, me n my friends planned to go watch it as to relax ourselves.
we managed to watch everything except the last part.. the clock shows 11pm already.. it is time for me to go back to start studying.. i am getting more and more guilty..i am speeding back to my room and waited for vj to teach me....
i started studying since 1am till 4.30am... talking n studying all the way through...i am starting to listen indonesia songs by ratu...
back to love,
i wish to sms n ask him how is him, bt i dun dare..i dun think it will become any better..he has his life now n i do...bt than i used to be beside with him always.. we will be studying together happily..bt than now??this semester?? ended up alone in hostel listening songs, msning and not studying..wasting all my time...haiz..
anyway, study hard... be a good girl and don't disappoint my parents... they care and love me so much....

6th of august

it is wednesday!!! freaking time is passing so fast... i don't wan..i need time to study.... monday is my direct exam...damn!!
as usual...opened my eyes again when i dream of you... it's been a week,bt i am still dreaming of you...i would wish to delete everything in my mind... am i still gonna wait for u?? if one day.... wat will i do??? NO NO NO!! I am not not not...QQ, pls wake up... bt frankly speaking, i don't wanna waste a chance if there is still a chance.. i think we're quite match in everything only because of some attitude and trust problems.. I think we can be vry happy if me n you realised everything..eveything in really everything.... mind-set, thinking,perception and many many more....but let's see how than... let the god decide for us....... Jus stop thinking for now... it doesn't makes any sense at all,okie??
anyway, i got my vaio yesterday.. was not really happy because the norton was not working well..i can't even update and i cant even download a msn installer.. how how sad is inti's connection man!!!
yesterday midnight ur're jus sitting right in front of my room's window...so??!!! i din think much.. jus went n peep for a while and say hi to my friends..that's all and i went to bed... i am going over to apartment to study with my classmates... people outside,say wat u wanna say than.. i am going there to STUDY, not to do anything. if u don't believe or u girls and guys wanna say anything go ahead... i won't giv a fuck!!
anyway, waiting to go back home..i miss home so much..i hope i've lost some weight..but i don't think so... pizza, roti telur at 11 something..how to lose weight?? LOL.....
i bought a zara shirt that vj n ms claud keep ask me to buy.. it shows a wide broad mouth smiling with all the teeth showing out.. they wants me to be always in that condition...I will... sad moments are going to be deletedm erased....okie? i promise you guys...
thanks for accompanying me yesterday... a big big thank you...
anyway, i gotta get ready and start to study!! concentrate..i don't wanna fail!! please, god dun treat me so bad...help n save me ~~~

3rd of august

everytime when i close my eyes... dreams will take me to some scary and unforgettable places...it sounded so hard for me to forget about the past??but than i hav to learn... i believe that isn't a big problem for me,rite??
some misunderstanding happens.... really pains... stop making my heart bleeding, please...but than, hope everything is getting better now..i wouldn't want to say sorry or to explain anything cause i don't think i need to do that.. although it is true we 2 have some problems, i have some attitude problems, yes i admit... bt i don't think is that so easy, rite?? u can changed that fast or maybe u've already changed long time ago bt i din realised it... i am sorry... if u really giving me one more chance, i will not make mistakes like this anymore... you will be thinking that i am just saying only..bt i really mean it... nvm, time really will prove everything to you and me.. thanks so much for the love u gave me before this... it will always be in my mind, forever...
tomorrow is my presentation day and i haven go through my slides yet... so, i am going right now...

2nd of august

I would say it is a happy day though..
i got myself a new laptop n a new pendrive.... am i kinda stupid getting these stuffs to make myself happy?? ermm... maybe not le.. my mum nids to use the computer too... that's y i am changing one so that i can bring this old lappie back to my mum..
Was a bit sad because i had to use my own money to buy ^^ nvm.. i will be recovering my sadness with my new lappie... i will have a new life with it soon... my new vaio will be my new bf for my sem breaks..i will be hugging it to sleep n i promised not to leave him.. LOL... i would be taking good care of him, not to show anger on him and i will trust him... no worries k daddy?
heard tat ur're quite lonely ovr thr...too bad i can't accompany u anymore... hope u'll miss the time when we're together... i think u will be out of the loneliness soon.. no worries... enjoy the life without anyone bothering you... i miss the time we had last time... when we're playing around and laughing so loudly... i miss u so much... but i am standing up....i am trying my best...
And one more thing.... bathing in the toilet alone around 12 something is so so scary.. when i was showering, i heard some guys calling and shouting suddenly n i was thinking is this a girl's hostel? how come there are guys sound?? when i listen carefully, i realised that was the vehicle's sound..bt it is still so scary...i faster take my bath n quickly run into my room.... phew **
n 1 more thing... i was walking up to my room last nite to get my toothbrush, when walk up the stairs, a negro girl shocked me to death.. wow... for goodness sick, dun cover urself with a black scarf late at night..summore standing at the stairs...
anyway, i gotta sleep..tired...
tomorrow will be a nice day ^^
-goodnite-

am i released?

i think i am..i think i made a right n wise decision... i shall neva look back to the past... i am moving on very nicely n happily with my friends...i nid to... i will learn.. i am big enough.. i think i will feel happy to let it go better than holding him...bt 1 thing i jus cant understand is that y a person can change so easily? Is love so powerful? yes, it is... it really put someone deep into the heart...
i wish u guys can acc me to ovrcome this prob... u r totally not worth...u deserved to hav one day... n of cause my frien, don't get upset too.. she is nothing good for u to wait n lov for..although i noe u lov her so much bt as wat am i facing now... jus stay tough n walk through this dark road... wat we nid is jus time.. believe time will tell us wat we want n wat we are... LEARN...
i will bless u all for a good starting till a good ending... she is better n she treated u better....
i am one who loves not to trust, not to believe, like to angry.. i am nt a polite girl....i deserved it =)
today i was talking to my ex.. n suddenly i asked him a question, " last time when i was with u, did i giv freedom to u? did i believe in you?" he answered me, "yes, n a lot, bt i din appreciate it" see people, i did trusted my bf so much last time n at last i get nothing..n at last i am the one being hurt... although now it's unfair n wrong to treat my bf like tat..bt i am really scare...i am really worry i would jus lost u all... i lov u alll...i swear, i did...
don't blame everything on me saying that i din trust u... bt at last wat i heard was u guys did contact long time ago... hoho... wat a great job... i felt i am cheated.. how to believe in guys later??how, can u teach me? bt everything is over... it was jus a dream.. a nice one as i can say...
hope n pray to god i will find 1 bf than can treat me better and stop arguing for unnecessary things later... i want to be myself, enjoy my single life to the max... i know i will live happier without u.. i can do it.. i wan to show u that i am tough enough....
i will be sending u guys a smile when u 2 walking infront of me holding hands one day...ok?
mr**,i promised u i will be tough n i will be stronger...tears are nt going to roll because of him.. thanks so much for ur support n ur accompany... i appreciate it so much n i wanna thank u so much..n of course to my friends too... thanks n i feel sorry for disturbing u guys so much...
final is coming soon, study hard..work hard n strive the best...
EVERYTHING IS OVER... OVER N OVER.... SLEEP WELL N IT WILL BE BETTER TOMORROW... NO MORE LOOKING BACK, GIRL!!